December 27th, 2552 – Green Light; Red Light.
Consociation Pilot Kat James Reporting
Oh man, where do I begin?
Yesterday – The others stayed with the Askmiri while I went over the ship to make sure I was ready for what could be a giant step for us – or one of those agonizing moments where science wasn’t up to the challenge.
As I prepared to make my run, Tower hailed me. No long good-byes or meaningless offerings, no he just flipped me an offhanded salute and told me he’d see me on the other side.
I can’t tell you how much that nonchalance helped my state of mind. Admittedly it only lasted until I was inside the void and following the path – but the Void Walkers were there and they were manipulating the pathway – I think they knew I was up to something and they were trying to stop me, but it was too late.
The light flashed and everything melted. It was almost that cliched moment where your life flashes before your eyes, only this involved every sense, everything I’d ever tasted, felt— smelled, with nothing to keep the feed from building up until nothing else existed, and then it was like that moment when you’re almost to your destination and you wonder ‘Did I turn the oven off?’
And suddenly I was not alone. It wasn’t anyone else but me. All of me. Every me that has ever existed, every phase of me, past, present, or future everywhere. We were there in the gumbo, for one second. And I could see everything stretched out in front of me. I could see the entire path behind me, our lives all intertwined and then there was nothing.
That was when the Akimiri picked me up, but— I can still feel the weight of that moment, it’s like I can see it in my peripheral vision but not straight on. I don’t know what to think about all of this – I just know that I’m out of synch.