Why I will never make it as a villian.

I could never get the laugh right.

I mean, I’ve tried.  Who hasn’t?  But I’m never sure if it’s Bwahaha or Mwahahah… and it usually comes out as more of a chortle than an actual laugh.  Heck, the very idea of an ‘evil laugh’  makes me giggle, and giggling just isn’t evil.

There’s too much joy in my laugh, too much amusement in life for it to feel evil.  It lacks those undertones of cruelty that the laugh coaches all go for.

I think I’d have to take myself more seriously for it to work, but I can’t.  I’ve always felt that life is too short to take yourself too seriously.

Of course, if you talk to my fictional characters, especially the heroes, I am Evil Incarnate. Granted, I may make their lives hell for the majority of a story and I always make them work for it,  but I (almost) always give them a pay off in the end.  Besides, what do they know?  They’re all figments of my imagination.

Which is good, because then they can’t tell that the evil cackle of glee isn’t nearly as evil as one would expect. In fact it’s more apologetic than anything, and it has a lot more to do with the twists and turns I’ll write as I wind my way through their fictional lives in an attempt to entertain my readers than it does any actual malice on my part.

Heck, I have trouble looking stern without cracking a smile, can you imagine what would happen if I tried to look evil?  I’d probably hurt something trying to suppress the laughter, and I’d end up laughing anyway, and again– it wouldn’t be a proper evil laugh.

I broke a rib once and it hurt to laugh.  Which was so pathetic that it made me laugh all the harder… that’s the laugh I’d bring to the table, and it is so not an evil laugh.

No, I’d never make it as a villain, super or otherwise

(I also couldn’t bring myself to cheat on the exam, but that’s another story.)

May 22, 2013

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